From Tween To Teen

We are at that stage now, the boys are growing up, Jack has gone from a Tween To Teen. I know I talk about how this has flown all the time, in fact I talked about letting go last week, and how it takes my breath away how quickly our lives together are passing.  Sometimes I want to pull the breaks, slow it down, but then I feel guilty and awful for all of those people who never got the privilege of seeing their children grow. And I feel sad for those who were too busy to notice and the special moments passed them by.

Teens seem to concentrate hard on being a teen; acting cool and remembering that this has to be worked on. Its funny sometimes this slips a little and they forget themselves. But they are torn in some weird inner conflict between being a child and an adult. I remember it well, thinking I knew better, was more with it than my parents.

teen to tween

 

So when I tell Jack that actually I am quite cool for a parent, you would never get some of his friends mums tree trekking and climbing he just rolls his eyes at me. Apparently it is also not cool to say you are cool. Don’t get me wrong, he is still a wonderful amazing boy, but he is a teen. And it becomes more apparent by the day, that he is constantly stepping one more step nearer to adulthood.

There are obvious signs, like his voice is deep and he is now taller than me, but then there are the little things. He likes to choose all of his own clothes, and if I purchase clothes when shopping alone, these must be approved by photograph before any transaction takes place.

He is also starting to develop his own thoughts and opinions on the world. There was a time when we could influence his thoughts and feelings, but he has become a logical thinker who is so interested in current affairs, news and the world around him. I suppose we should be looking on proudly and thinking yay we have done a great job, and I hope we have. But I wont kid myself, now comes the hard bit the GCSE’s, A levels, where on earth will he go to college? Will he go to Uni?

Teen To Tween

So now we negotiate parenting with a mini adult. Which trust me, is a wonderful but very different kind of parenting. No longer can I say, because I said so, as this no longer cuts its. A decision requires a reason, a justification, sometimes a discussion and often a negotiation.

When you have your baby in your arms for that most wonderful very first time, you have no idea what is ahead. What wonderful adventures you will enjoy as a family. Yes, there will be hurdles ahead and disagreements. You have no idea how many footballs I have nearly popped lately. But if constantly playing football in the kitchen is the worst I can think off then I am pretty lucky.

I don’t really know what I am trying to say in this post, except for it is happening, I know our lives are changing and how we all deal with it shapes our families relationships for the rest of our lives. Be too strict, will Jack resent us? Be too soft, will he lose all respect. It is all about balance and acceptance. And accepting the family changes, planning to meet those changes has to be the first step to hopefully happy teenage years.

16 thoughts on “From Tween To Teen”

  1. Teenagers life’s are a rollercoaster as long as you stay with them on in ,life s fine if they are happy that’s all that matters in my view other s have different views but as a single mum with two lovely girls who have done me proud I would have changed anything for the world Great post sarah just brought some memories back for me x

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    • Ah thank you Kath, you are an amazing mum,and your girls are a credit to you, so well brought up. If our boys are anything like your gorgeous girls I will be so proud. xx

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    • I know it is so exciting, and amazing to watch them grow isn’t it Helen? You are never prepared for this bit I don’t think x

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  2. Lovely!! I can imagine that as a parent of a teen that nothing you can do is cool – even though you are cool…! Teens are funny but complicated and I know I was a difficult one. Good luck with these years and I bet you’ll be so proud of the man he becomes xx

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  3. Aw I read this post half with a heavy heart and the other half excited for the coming years. Our children are so similar in age, and parenting through the teen years has been a learning curve. You are so right about them wanting justification about things, and as a family we are learning to negotiate. It sounds like you have the balance right, and totally get you about playing football in the house. Except with us its MY cushions in the living room xx

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    • Oh I would go mad if it was a cushion, the football is bad enough ha ha, although there has been casualties the odd ornament and a clock. But when Chris is as bad I don’t stand a chance on this front grr x

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  4. Ah Sarah this brought tears to my eyes. I look at my girls and feel like time is slipping away so I cannot even begin to imagine where you are with an almost adult on your hands! You are a brilliant mum and I am sure you will get the balance just right. xxx

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  5. Ah Sarah this has made me a little emotional, what a lovely post. The way you talk about your boys you can tell you have done, are doing, such a great job with them both. I look back at my teen years totally differently now I have my own children, I can’t imagine those days when they just go to their room and I don’t see them…eek! I was talking to my mum about this at the weekend and she said, yes it’s hard but then you come out the otherside! I speak to my Mum most days and see her a few times a week, I tell her everything I we are such good friends so you can look forward to to time he comes back round. You definitely are a cool mum too xxx

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    • Ah thank you Hayley, they are both in their rooms now! But the time we do spend together is fab so I cant complain, its just amazing how life changes x

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