I really need to practice what I preach reading that title. I am not at all qualified to write about body confidence. And that is exactly why I am writing it.
You see I have started to write a few style posts. I have always posted pics of me on my blog in family situations, and felt more than comfortable with that. Mainly because I am not the topic, who’s looking at me right? But posting photos showcasing someone’s clothes feels different; it makes me feel bare and exposed. So why am I doing it you ask? Because I want too, I love clothes and fashion. I have a lot to learn still adapting to being a 40+ woman who loves fashion. I don’t always get it right, and sometimes I look back on photos and cringe. Wonder what on earth was I thinking.
I am a mega confident person in nearly all areas of life. But I worry about the haters, those mean girls. We all have at least one lurking in the background don’t we? The one that deleting would be making too much of a statement, so she sits there judging. 99.9 of people on my feed are lovely, so supportive. I may not even know the hater. She may be beautiful, she may not, and she could be a he? They won’t say anything, but they will judge. “Who does she think she is” “She does know she’s no model” And the answer to that is no I am not, I am a normal average woman.
I posted 2 posts last week, posts of me showcasing clothes. I can’t use the term modeling, cringe. Because clearly I am no model. As I pressed post I wanted to weep! I am not even exaggerating. I was worried about what people would think. This is so silly because clearly the brands were happy to work with me, they want to embrace that we aren’t all the same. That 40+ women have spending power and spend a LOT of fashion and clothes. It’s a shift that has been happening for some while now. And good on those brands.
Then something wonderful happened.
The lovely Helena messaged me with a kind message of support and solidarity. Then my gorgeous friends Louise said the same. Shortly after that Jess messaged me, she has become a good friend and had guessed something was up. We chatted about how I have been feeling and she got it totally.
I remembered something my beautiful cousin Lisa once said to me. ” What people think of you is their business, and their problem. Not yours”
Yes, that is so true. As women and men too, we have a responsibility to our children to be proud of ourselves. To love ourselves and feel confident, to support others that dare to do the same. We need to set that example. We are all different shapes, sizes, ages and colours. But we are all beautiful. We all have a different kind of beauty.
I am never going to judge a beautiful thin seemingly perfect woman, because she too will have hang-ups. One thing I have discovered is there are not many people out there who haven’t got confidence issues in some way.
But what we can do is show a little solidarity, support each other and be proud of each other. To me that is the measure of a person. And the type of person I want in my life. It’s not about living in a perfect world. It’s about learning to accept others, not judging and being that person, to show your support rather than contempt.
We all wear clothes, and I want to see those clothes on all shapes, sizes, ages and colours of beautiful people.
And with some of the brands, press and bloggers embracing this, it is becoming the norm. That is exactly how I know that an item of clothing will look good on me. That my friends is why I am going to be brave and keep sharing. And support others that do the same, whether its style post, an achievement on Facebook a recipe you are proud of go for it be proud. And remember that my cousin Lisa said.
So as I stood on top of a hill on Sunday, Chris taking my photos in my ever so lovely Regatta Cosmia Quilted Jacket, I felt proud. Unlike last week when I was so embarrassed. I watched Joe running and jumping in mud, with a confidence a vigour, and not a care in the world . We all need to adopt that approach. We need to be more like our younger generation, we could learn a lot from them if we just watch and listen.