I have thought long and hard about this, what has being a Mum taught me?
Honestly, hand on heart I am not the person I was pre children. Having the boys has changed me in so many ways. Yes, deep down I am still me, but a better version of me most definitely, not that I was awful before, but I just didn’t get first time gushy Mums.
I am from a huge family where there is a new baby every year. I was quite matter of fact about them, took them for granted almost like having good food in the cupboard. There were always babies around, I loved them all, but they were everywhere.
So when my friends started having babies I will be honest Judged them thought they are all a bit gushy, OTT about these lovely babies. Then everything changed and I had my own, and all of a sudden I got it.
So how has it change me?
I became less judgmental, pre baby I remember willing a friend to go home, losing the will to live as she spent half an hour telling me why the shape of her baby’s head was so perfect arghhh. Post baby I accepted this was her motherly pride, and loved her for it.
I realised that yes a clean home was important, but a show home isn’t always achievable. Don’t get me wrong, a messy house still stresses me out. But spending time with my family is far more important. The pre baby me would have hyperventilating at the skateboard that lives in our hallway these days. Now I accept it, that’s where it lives.
Although I did flip last week when I caught Chris, yes Chris a grown man skateboarding in the lounge like it was normal. No wonder the boys think it’s acceptable if their role model skateboards across the lounge grrrr.
I am much more open-minded, each to their own is my new mantra. Pre babies I would judge someone on first glance.
Watching the boys grow up and forge un-biased friendships has made me realise that friends come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. I love how kids don’t judge; it is such a beautiful quality.
Fear, this is a funny one. You never stop worrying do you? I worried when I was expecting them, let’s get to 12 weeks, right now 20, right now full term and relax they are here, I can relax now. What planet was I on? That’s where it all began; weaning, asthma, eczema, pneumonia, chicken pocks, diabetes, which nursery, School, High School. Blimey the list goes on and on.
Following this is bravery because let’s face it that little lot above is enough to make you want to wrap your kids in cotton wool and lock them in a room. So as parents you fight through with a smile on your face and at times fight as hard as you can to make things right. Tell your children it will all be alright and positivity and believing it the way forward.
Pride, it’s not just the big things is it? It’s the little thing they do and say.
Things that highlight you are getting it right (most of the time) When people tell you what fun they are to be around, what great company they are. When they bring letters home from school about their good behaviour or test results that they have worked really hard for. Or just those times when they do or say something kind.
And last but not least unconditional love. There is nothing better is there? My little family may not be perfect in somebody else’s eyes. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to me they are all perfect. With all their chaos, mud, bickering and football, I love going home at the end of the day to my chaotic, manic life.
And I hope when they are adults they will look back on their childhood, on life lessons, family times and all those memories with fondness just like I know Chris and I will.