I just had to write about a post I read on Facebook last week. It was posted by my beautiful cousin Jade. It was a post that not only intrigued me, but made me laugh yet also got me thinking about my responsibility as a parent.
Jade like most of us Mums had got a little fed up of the state of her sons Loui and Harvey’s,(aged 8 and 6) bedrooms. She had repeatedly asked them to tidy, but like some of us Mums, didn’t get results. So she decided to take the boys X box remote, and left them a note asking them to tidy their room, in return she would give them their remote control back.
We all watched out for Jade to update her status with the results of her note. When she got home from work she was greeted with a reply from the boys.
Hoorah success, it seemed the thought of being unable to play Fifa 13 or Mine Craft to just too much for Loui and Harvey to endure. So they set too vacuuming and tidying their room.
My question is would it have been easier for Jade to tidy the boys room herself? Every Friday morning I look at Jack and Joe’s bedrooms in despair, they are both so untidy. They seem unable to grasp the concept of putting toys, clothes, shoes, games and books away. It is so frustrating, and every week I begrudgingly re-tidy and organise their rooms. But actually, am I doing them any favours by doing this? I have brought this on myself.
What they need, is to learn a bit of responsibility. In many ways they are very independent boys. However when it comes to tidying and cleaning they show no interest, or intention, of ever tidying up their own mess. If I don’t take action soon and make them responsible for their own mess, they could become cognitively conditioned to be untidy for the rest of their lives.
I hope I have many years until they go to university, or want to settle down in a relationship. By tidying up and hovering behind them, will they be able to look after themselves? They are going to have to learn the hard way. I am so lucky that Chris was well trained at as a child at home. So is able to cook, clean and iron. He takes 50% responsibility for all household tasks.
However I do have the odd friend, whose husbands were so pampered at home as children, that they are literally useless. To be honest, they are downright lazy around the house. For them life is a constant battle of trying to get their husbands to help out with even minor tasks. I don’t want our boys to grow up like this.
Thank you Jade you have inspired me to teach the boys that they are responsible for their own mess, in much the same way they are responsible for their own actions. Surely that’s our jobs as Mums? Equipping our children to be able to cope with adulthood and all that comes with being a well rounded, caring, and responsible adult.