It’s an odd question isn’t it? How important is honesty? I have found in life that people have different ideas about what honesty actually is. And what is a truth, and what is a lie. I recently drifted away from a very good friend because of a lie that I could not forgive, or forget.
Sometimes I wonder; why did that lie matter so much to me? Why could I not just let it go? But it played on my mind, bothered me; you see the consequences of that lie could have been huge to me. Fortunately people knew me well enough to know better than believe her. It was the intent I could not get over. That someone told a lie to put themselves in the clear.
It made me realise how absolutely vital honesty is to me. I can’t lie for toffee; I am a rubbish liar. If I told an untruth I would forget, confuse myself and trip myself up in no time at all. I also can’t forgive lies; if somebody tells me a lie it shocks and offends me, even the white ones.
This has in my life time got me in trouble, if a friend asked if an outfit suited them whilst out shopping I have to be honest. I once told a friend a dress didn’t suit her, she was upset as she really liked it. I regretted it, as then I spent hours traipsing round shop, after shop with her to find an alternative. And my honesty had caused a stinking atmosphere. Another friend who smoked once asked if I could smell cigarettes on her and I said yes and offered her a mint, she looked really hurt. But she did ask!
In my younger days I used to appear quite abrasive, people would be easily offended. I hope a have learnt to rein in my honesty a tad, I am so soft inside, and would hate to offend people,it would really upset me if I ever offend anyone. But do wonder why anyone would ask me the truth if they don’t want to hear it. Anyone who knows me accepts that.
I try so hard to bite my tongue these days and offer no opinion; I find that’s the best policy in life.
When you think about it, we lie to our children as soon as they can speak, yes it’s a magical lie , but all the same still a lie. A lie that I wholeheartedly embrace every year like any other parent. Or could this be seen as the exaggeration of a beautiful myth. That sounds better doesn’t it.
I have found some great quotes about honesty, which I have added to this post. I hope I can bring my children up to be honest adults, hopefully a more diluted version of my honesty would be good.
I think I have learnt in life there is a time and a place for honesty, and the odd little white lie to protect a loved ones feelings doesn’t always hurt, although it feels wrong; it sometimes is the kinder option. However in the same token I could never let a friend buy an outfit that they look a total Muppet in! Or stand by whilst my best friends husband had an affair, what sort of friend would I be? And I would hope my friends would be equally honest with me.
I have also learnt that honesty is a very personal thing, something that people can interpret very differently. What is a huge fat lie to me could be insignificant to another. The key is to surround yourself with people who have the same standards where honesty is concerned.